BJJ – Monday 10th

Dragged myself to BJJ last night.

Not many people came but it was an excellent class. There was me, a purple belt (and all-Japan master and senior blue belt up to 72kg champion!), and this monster of a blue belt, who is also about a ten-million dan judo black belt (and throws the shit out of me on Wednesday nights).


His name is Maraiga… actually I think that’s a nickname but whatever. The guy is built like a fucking tank… Remember that round, metal dude from the creepy kids movie “Return to Oz”? The thing with the moustache? He reminds me of that thing, only not made of metal, and with completely different arms and legs, and without a moustache, and… actually not like that thing at all. He’s like a cannonball with arms and legs.

Our coach was forced to give him a blue belt after a couple of months when he was consistently twisting all of us into the kind of shapes we just aren’t supposed to be in. Once, I saw the small of my back with my own eyes when he submitted me via spine-inversion.

So there was those two, and my coach, a black belt. So basically I got choked, armbarred, shoulder-locked and de-strangulated non-stop for around two hours. Afterwards my body felt like it was constructed from shards of broken glass and raw, pounded meat. My face was literally glowing red and was so badly chafed, I canceled the shave I had planned for that night. I may never need to shave again.

In other words, great training!