YAMMA 2 Superfight Announced

From Yamma Pit Fighting

The superfight for YAMMA 2 has been announced. If you thought the producers could not match the bone-crunching, sinew-snapping, ball-crushingly awesome clashes between The Russian Bear and the American Specimen Machine, or Pat “No need for a Nickname” Smith and Butterbean “Butterbean” Butterbean, you were wrong, asshole. Dead wrong. Because the masterminds behind the YAMMA pit and the chocolate teapot have booked what is tentatively being labelled as the greatest fight in mixed martial arts history.

Alf, who some of you may know as the alien from the eponymously titled hit 80s TV show has been lured out of retirement by the biggest challenge of his life, the kind of challenge any self-respecting cat-eating alien could not possibly turn down.

Mr. Steven P. Seagal, reclusive aikido master, saught-after spiritual guru and world-reknowned nose flute expert, wants to put the spark back into his withering life. The kind of excitement that starring in straight-to-video action movies where his body double (played by a shaved llama) stars for seventy percent of the movie just can’t give him. The same kind of excitement that he may or may not have felt during his simultaneous tenure as the bodyguard of the President of the United States, head of the CIA, and Chief Top Guy at the FBI or NASA, which he doesn’t like to talk about but likes to let you think he did when really he didn’t.

There’s only one cage advanced enough to handle the sure-to-be teeth-grindingly awesome battle between these two staggeringly handsome athletes… The YAMMA Pit.

Will Alf’s superior striking and footwork be enough to negate the lightning fast combinations and unorthodox grappling of Seagal? Can the diminuative alien lure the martial arts master into his grasp, or will the slap happy eternal frowner play the slide guitar with Alf’s guts?

Find out on May 29th at YAMMA 2!

Also featuring:

Johnny “Cobra Strike” Lee taking on Rupert “Krazy Teeth” Macintosh in the YAMMA Octagenerian World Championship Belt fight.

Johnny “Cobra Strike” Lee

Rupert “Krazy Teeth” Macintosh

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4 Responses

  1. AHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
    …my balls just exploded AWESOME 1!!11!!!!oneone!!111

  2. I knew I could count on you hobes!

  3. You’re so retarded, you’re none-more-retarded.

  4. I’ll take that as a compliment.

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